Wedding gifts
How much to give for a wedding gift: amounts by relationship
A clear guide to wedding gift amounts by relationship, with the averages from recent guest surveys and the situations that change the number.
Updated · 6 min read · by Presentou
Most wedding guests give between $100 and $150. Coworkers and acquaintances usually give $50 to $100, close friends $100 to $200, and close family $150 to $500 or more. If you bring a plus-one, increase the amount. The right number is the one you can comfortably afford — nobody keeps score.
That's the short answer. The rest of this guide explains where those numbers come from, how your relationship with the couple changes them, and how to handle the situations that make people second-guess themselves: destination weddings, being in the wedding party, giving as a couple, or simply being on a tight budget.
What is the average wedding gift amount?
According to a Zola guest survey, wedding guests spent about $130 on average, with most spending between $100 and $150. The Knot's guest study puts the average a little higher, at roughly $150 per guest, with close friends and family giving more than casual friends. Both point to the same range: around $100 to $150 is normal for a typical guest.
Averages are a useful anchor, not a rule. A guest who gives $75 from the heart is not a worse guest than one who gives $200. Couples remember who showed up and who wrote something kind far longer than they remember the exact amount.
How much to give for a wedding gift by relationship
Your relationship with the couple is the single biggest factor. Use this table as a starting point and adjust for your budget and local customs.
| Relationship | Typical range | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Coworker or acquaintance | $50 – $100 | A group gift from the office is also common. |
| Distant relative | $75 – $150 | Match what others in the family usually give. |
| Friend | $100 – $150 | The most common range for guests. |
| Close friend | $100 – $200 | More if you are close to both partners. |
| Close family (sibling, cousin you grew up with) | $150 – $500+ | Some families give much more; follow your own tradition. |
| Parents and grandparents | Varies widely | Often a larger gift, or help with the wedding itself. |
Should you give more if you bring a plus-one?
Yes, usually. If you are attending as a couple or bringing a guest, a combined gift of roughly 1.5 to 2 times the single amount is a common guideline. A married couple attending together typically gives one shared gift — for example, $200 to $300 instead of $150 each.
If your plus-one is someone the couple has never met, you don't need to double. The extra amount simply reflects that two seats were reserved for you.
Does the cost of the wedding change how much you should give?
There's an old rule of thumb that your gift should "cover your plate." Most etiquette experts now reject it. The couple chose their venue and menu; your gift is not a ticket price. Base your gift on your relationship and your budget, not on how fancy the reception looks.
How much to give for a destination wedding
If you are paying for flights and a hotel to attend, it's perfectly acceptable to give a smaller gift — or to let your presence be the gift, especially for close friends who know what the trip cost you. Many guests give $50 to $100 in this case. A thoughtful card always matters more than the number.
How much to give if you are in the wedding party
Bridesmaids and groomsmen often spend a lot before the wedding: attire, the shower, the bachelor or bachelorette party, travel. Because of that, many give a more modest wedding gift, or go in on a group gift with the rest of the wedding party. A group gift lets everyone contribute what they can and still give something meaningful together — here's how to collect money for a group gift without chasing people.
What if you can't afford the typical amount?
Give what you can. Couples know their guests have rent, student loans and their own lives. Some good options when money is tight:
- A smaller contribution to a cash fund. Many registries have funds where any amount is welcome.
- A share of a bigger gift. Gifts split into shares let you contribute $25 or $50 toward something like flights or a sofa.
- A handwritten card. A sincere note about why the couple matters to you is a real gift.
- Your time. Offer to help with setup, a ride, or a homemade dish for the rehearsal dinner.
Is it OK to give cash instead of something from the registry?
Yes. Cash is one of the most appreciated wedding gifts, especially for couples who already live together and have a full kitchen. Many couples now say so directly with a cash fund or a honeymoon fund. If the couple has a registry, check it first — a cash fund listed there tells you exactly what they hope for.
If you give cash at the reception, use a sealed card with your name written clearly. If you send it digitally, include a message so the couple knows who it came from when they write thank-you notes.
When should you send a wedding gift?
Ideally before the wedding or within a few weeks after it. Sending through the registry is easiest because the couple doesn't have to carry anything home from the reception. The old idea that you have "a year" to send a gift is a myth — it's acceptable, but sooner is kinder.
How much to give for the shower vs. the wedding
If you're invited to both a bridal shower and the wedding, you don't need to give two large gifts. A common approach is to spend about a quarter to a third of your total gift budget on the shower and the rest on the wedding. Engagement parties usually call for a small gift or none at all.
Quick checklist before you give
- Check the couple's registry or wedding website for what they actually want.
- Pick a range based on your relationship (see the table above).
- Adjust for a plus-one, travel costs, or being in the wedding party.
- Stay within what you can comfortably afford.
- Add a personal message — it is the part they will reread.
If you are the couple planning your registry, Presentou lets guests choose gifts with a photo and a story and pay you directly through Venmo, Zelle, PayPal or a bank transfer. Building the registry is free, and there is no fee on gifts — you pay $19 once to publish it for 12 months.