Wedding etiquette
How to ask for money instead of wedding gifts (with wording examples)
Asking for cash is normal now — the trick is saying it warmly and giving guests an easy way to do it. Here is how, with wording you can copy.
Updated · 5 min read · by Presentou
To ask for money instead of wedding gifts, say it on your wedding website or registry — not on the invitation — and keep it warm and short. Explain what the money is for (a home, a honeymoon, a fresh start), thank guests for coming, and make clear any gift is optional. Then give them one simple way to send it.
Cash gifts are no longer a faux pas. Many couples live together before the wedding and already own the toaster. What still matters is tone: guests want to feel they are giving a gift, not paying an invoice. Below you'll find the etiquette, where to put the message, and ten wording examples you can copy.
Is it rude to ask for money as a wedding gift?
No — as long as you ask gently and never demand. Guests usually prefer to know what you would actually use. The things that make a cash request feel rude are specific: naming an amount, putting it on the invitation itself, sounding entitled, or making it feel like an admission fee.
- Do explain what the money is for.
- Do say that their presence is the real gift.
- Do offer a few ways to give, including a traditional option if some guests prefer it.
- Don't mention amounts or "suggested contributions."
- Don't print bank details on the paper invitation.
- Don't use phrases like "cash only" or "no boxed gifts."
Where should you ask for money: invitation, website or registry?
Traditional etiquette keeps gift talk off the invitation. The best place is your wedding website or registry page, which guests visit precisely to find this information. On the invitation, a single line pointing to the website is enough: "Details and registry at our website."
Word of mouth works too. Parents and the wedding party are often asked "what do they want?" — tell them, so they can answer kindly.
Cash registry wording examples you can copy
Pick the tone that sounds like you and adjust the details.
- Simple and warm: "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. If you would like to give something more, a contribution toward our future together would mean the world to us."
- Already have a home: "Having lived together for a few years, we are lucky to have everything we need for our home. If you wish to give a gift, a contribution to our savings would be gratefully received."
- Honeymoon: "We are saving for the honeymoon of our dreams. If you would like to help us make memories along the way, you can choose a moment from our trip on our registry."
- House fund: "We are working toward buying our first home. Any gift toward our house fund will help us get there — and you will always have a place at our table."
- Short poem: "We have the pots, we have the pans, we have the plates for all our plans. If you would like to help us start our life, a little toward our dreams would be just right."
- Funny: "We have enough mugs to open a coffee shop. If you would like to bless us with a gift, we are saving for adventures instead."
- Formal: "The couple kindly requests the pleasure of your company. Should you wish to honor them with a gift, a monetary contribution toward their new life together would be warmly appreciated."
- Mixed registry: "We have put together a small registry and a few funds for the experiences we are dreaming of. Choose whatever feels right — or simply bring yourself and your dancing shoes."
- Charity: "We are lucky to have what we need. If you would like to give a gift, we would love a donation to a cause close to our hearts, listed on our registry."
- Second wedding or later in life: "We have been fortunate to build our homes over the years. Your friendship is the best gift; if you would like to give something, a contribution toward a trip together would delight us."
How to make cash gifts feel personal
The biggest objection guests have to cash is that it feels impersonal. The fix is to turn the money into specific, named gifts. Instead of one "send money" button, create items like "Our first dinner as a married couple," "A share of our new sofa" or "Snorkeling day in Maui," each with a photo. Guests pick something that means something, and you still receive cash.
| Instead of… | Try a named gift like… |
|---|---|
| "Contribute to our fund" | "Sunset dinner in Santorini" |
| "Help with our house" | "One share of our down payment" |
| "Any amount" | "Date night fund — any amount you like" |
| "Honeymoon money" | "Our flights to Lisbon (in shares)" |
For more ideas, see our list of honeymoon fund ideas with suggested prices.
Should you include a few physical gifts?
It helps. Some guests — often older relatives — genuinely enjoy choosing a physical item. Adding a handful of traditional gifts, or a cash gift labeled with a real object ("Our new KitchenAid"), gives everyone a comfortable way to participate.
What to tell family members who ask
Some relatives will ask your parents instead of reading the website. Give them a simple sentence they can repeat: "They already have most of what they need for the house, so they're saving for their honeymoon — it's all on their wedding website." A clear, friendly answer from someone close to you does more than any wording on a page.
And if a guest still brings a boxed gift, thank them just as warmly. The goal of the wording is to guide, not to police. Nobody should feel they gave the wrong thing.
How should guests send the money?
Make it easy and safe. Many couples share a Venmo or Zelle handle, but a list of handles on a website gives guests no idea what to send or how you will know who gave what. A cash registry solves both: guests pick a gift, leave a message, and pay through the app they already use. If you're comparing options, our guide to the best cash registry sites breaks down fees and how the money reaches you.
Keep track of every gift so your thank-you notes can mention it specifically: "Thank you for our first dinner in Rome" lands much better than "thanks for the money."